xXmichaelXxhardcorexX's Xanga

Resolved

Tue, 20 May 2008 20:20:36 GMT

So a while ago I posted some resolutions made by one Jonathan Edwards. He is a man I greatly admire. He was not only a great thinker, but also a man of great diligence. And I have come to realize that a great many of my failings (both personal, academic, and social) have been from my lack of diligence. Therefore I have decided to make resolutions myself. Not New Years resolutions or anything like that. Things that carry the weight of that word behind it. Resolved. Dedicated. Determined (Dependable . . .an Atlanta news joke . . .)

So here they are:

1). I am resolved to seek the resolution of a problem as soon as it arises, unless immediate resolution would serve only to exacerbate the situation further (i.e. if a 'cooling off' period was necessary to adequately resolve it).

2) I am resolved to be direct in my communication and not insinuate or communicate through passive aggression. I am also resolved to cease my perpetual flattery and smooth talk which I am apt to use in order to gain approval from people.

3) I am resolved to stop striving for the approval of others. This merely makes me a servant to my own pride and also hinders me from truly caring about others or doing what is best for them, which will often require honesty and openness which may put them off from me for a time.

4) I am resolved to loving others with a selfless, self-sacrificing, Christ-like love.

5) I am resolved to encourage others to do the same.

6) I am resolved to the devoted reading of Scripture and meditation on it daily. I am also resolved to make this reading and meditation a constant striving and burden on my mind.

7) I am resolved to pray often for others needs when I become aware of them or are reminded of them. I am also resolved to pray for forgiveness for sins when they occur (this goes in line with resolution 1).

8) I am resolved to reflect upon myself and the areas which I need to grow.

9) I am resolved to cease seeing the world through an "us vs. them" mentality.

10) I am resolved never to put myself above another human being in worth or importance.

11) I am resolved to study Greek for at least a half hour every day.

12) I am resolved to study German for at least a half hour every day.

13) I am resolved to the writing of poetry for at least a half hour every day.

14) I am resolved to the practicing of guitar and the writing of songs for at least a half hour every day.

So there are a few. I pray that God gives me diligence in these areas so that I may do them, not for just a season, but hopefully for good. Obviously some of these will never be perfected in my lifetime (such as not putting myself above others), but nontheless I should still strive.

New Poem

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:01:36 GMT

I just finished a new poem. Just another overflow of heartache:

Thus, with a kiss, I died.

On Autumn day an early Grey

Stole from the shores of Winter’s tide

And bore me far away!

It brought its withering touch

That hurried death and robbed the breath

Of all I loved with rasping clutch,

And left a mourning wreath

On she who was my Spring!

Whose gentle lips and fingertips

To frozen fields did flowers bring.

My Spring! she slowly slips

Into mere memory.

And as I stand on Winter’s sand

I call to her across the sea,

But Silence lays its hand

Upon my quaking plea.

A choking presses on my breast,

I know that I will never see

Again my Vernal rest.

I hold that clinging scene

Before my eyes, O precious prize!

That to my Grey brings ghosts of Green

And faintly lights dim skies.

This, both my joy and sore:

Before my Bride from me was pried

She graced my lips with hers once more-

Thus, with a kiss, I died.

If you have any suggestions or anything, feel free to give them to me. Later, friends.

Just a Quote I Found Interesting

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 13:25:48 GMT

"Among all sorts of people and in all kinds of places, it has become the fashion to attack American education. One criticism is that it upsets and disturbs young people. The conception of education as a process of settling, or hardening, of the fixation of sound principles and righteous dogma in the youth of America, brings me at once to state my own view of university training. It is that the purpose of higher education is to unsettle the minds of young men [and, presumably one may add, of young women], to widen their horizon, to inflame their intellects. It is not to reform them, or amuse them, or to make them expert technicians in any field. It is to teach them to think, to think straight if possible; but to think always for themselves."

-Robert Maynard Hutchins (1930?)

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 05:07:14 GMT

Up! up! my friend, and clear your looks,
Why all this toil and trouble?
Up! up! my friend, and quit your books,
Or surely you'll grow double.

The sun above the mountain's head,
A freshening lustre mellow,
Through all the long green fields has spread,
His first sweet evening yellow.

Books! 'tis a dull and endless strife,
Come, hear the woodland linnet,
How sweet his music; on my life
There's more of wisdom in it.

And hark! how blithe the throstle sings!
And he is no mean preacher;
Come forth into the light of things,
Let Nature be your teacher.

She has a world of ready wealth,
Our minds and hearts to bless-
Spontaneous wisdom breathed by health,
Truth breathed by chearfulness.

One impulse from a vernal wood
May teach you more of man;
Of moral evil and of good,
Than all the sages can.

Sweet is the lore which nature brings;
Our meddling intellect
Mis-shapes the beauteous forms of things;
-We murder to dissect.

Enough of science and of art;
Close up these barren leaves;
Come forth, and bring with you a heart
That watches and receives.

I have to say, Romantic poetry can be a breath of fresh air sometimes. I may not agree with it at all times, but I absolutely admire the spirit and beauty of it.

I'm very tired. I'm stretched and worn and a bit battered down by trivial matters. It's been a bit hard to walk straight lately.

Ich weiss das noch nicht.

Unser Vater im Himmel!
Geheiligt werde dein Name,
dein Reich komme,
dein Wille geschehe,
wie im Himmel, so auf Erden.
Unser tägliches Brot gib uns heute.
Und vergib uns unsere Schuld,
wie auch wir vergeben unsern Schuldigern.
Und führe uns nicht in Versuchung,
sondern erlöse uns von dem Bösen.
Denn dein ist das Reich und die Kraft
und die Herrlichkeit in Ewigkeit.
Amen.

I have many things to do. I am an chest full of half-finished projects.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 04:15:17 GMT

So I have officially started the rock band that I have been wanting to for the past two weeks. We don't have a name yet, and the only two members that have practiced together are Spencer (drummer) and I (vox and guitar). We don't really have a complete setup, but I've talked to a phenomenal guitarist and an excellent keyboardist/pianist and I think they might be on board. It should be good. It will be very nice to have a creative gathering of people. I can't wait to see what comes out of this.

I do not know Jesus as I ought. I think I used to know someone who looked a little bit like Him, but I'm coming to find out that he was more of a figment of my own selfish imagination than the real Christ.

I know it's a day late, but:

It's New Years Eve and I feel my insecurities,
are haunting me like ghosts, this sinking quicksand.
And then with thunderous praise and lofty adoration,
a second passes by, yet nothing changes.
I hate my skin, this grave I'm standing in.
Another change of years, and I wish I wasn't here.

Good old Five Iron Frenzy.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 01:57:44 GMT

This is an auxiliary entry so that the next time Rachelle posts a response she doesn't have to contend with the plethora of her other comments.

That's it. I'm too lazy to write anything else.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 03:09:53 GMT

Off to Jekyll Island for Christmas. 3 days of tennis, croquet, golf, golf-carts, and the ocean. Not to mention I get to see my two adorable cousins ( 7 and 3 years old). It should be a good trip. I may or may not get cell phone service there. If I don't, then Merry Christmas to Rachelle and Matt, because you're really the only two people who read this thing anymore. I'll try and write down and develop some of the crazy thoughts I've been having over the past few days so that I can give you guys something good when I get back. Until then, God bless.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 18:20:08 GMT

Did I make you upset again? It seems that I have mastered that. It's funny though, to suffer the anger of another on account of the actions of an entirely different person.

I don't like where I am. I don't like being here. I don't like sitting and rotting on the inside. I don't like being cold (inside for sure, but sometimes 'out' is acceptable).

I am sorry if I have brought more trouble to you in the past few days, but I was only trying to clear the air.

I don't always side with my friends when it comes to their opinions, nor do I control how they think.

Please don't hold that against me.

If it makes it any better, I feel like I'm on the fast train out of your life.

Soon our time together will just be that grungy, worn-down, delapidated station that you'll think back on and thank God you didn't end up stranded there.

Hopefully you find a much nicer place to rest.

I would only ask that you not hold against me what others have said and done.

If you hate me, hate me for something I have done, not something I have told you another has done.

I see I've done enough damage though. I'm sorry for all of it. So, I guess I'll be on my way. I won't bother you with any more calls or messages. If you want me out of your life for good, that's fine. I don't want to do any more damage.

I don't think ill of you.

I hope I never will.

Bye, kiddo.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:49:36 GMT

God is love and love is real,
but the dead are dancing with the dead
and though all that's charming disappears
all things lovely only hurt my head
as i gather stones from fields like pearls of water on my fingers' end
and wrap them up in boxes,
safe from windows, from things that break,
as the night-time shined like day it saw my sorry face,
hair a mess but it liked me best that way
(Besides, how else could I confess?
When I looked down like if to pray,
well i was looking down her dress. . .)
Good God, please!
Catch for us the foxes in the vineyard - The little foxes.
Turn your ear, musician, to silence, because they only come out when its quiet,
their tails brushing over your eyelids
Wake up, sleeper, and rise from the dead!
Or the fur that they shed will cover your bed in a delicate orange-ish cinnamon
red,
ah, I don't need this!
I have my loves, I have my doubts.
I don't need this.

- Aaron Weiss

Three days until I hear this live (hopefully they play it). Finals are almost done and so am I.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 00:42:28 GMT

So in lieu of my previous thoughts on Time, I have decided that it is the very transient nature of time that makes immediate self gratification so pointless. Let's think about it: What an unfulfilling life to spend all of one's waking time searching out moments of pleasure which shall always fade. Grasping to hold on to air or water, to attain for oneself that which was never meant to be obtained fully. So the life of self-gratification is altogether pointless because it recognizes the futility of temporal existence in its quest for lasting pleasure.

However, if we do the things which connect us to the Eternal and Timeless, if in life we pursue that which places us in correspondence and relation to the Non-Temporal and Non-Transient, then the fleeting and fleeing life we live is not unsubstantial, because we are connected to the fulfillment of the Everlasting.

The actions we perform remain forever fixed in our memories. The act of doing them is crucially important because in a moment we solidify that action forever. Past actions cannot be undone. The impact that our actions have on our future actions, and our rememberance and assessment of them shapes us as people. Therefore we should strive for those actions which in the act of doing them -and upon reflecting on them -make us better people and lead us to share and partake of That which is unaffected by time. This includes prayer, meditation, devotion to Scripture,listening to the voice of God, helping our fellow man, building community, righting wrongs, and forsaking those things which waste our time by removing us from the Eternal God. We must become diligent in our use of time and make the most of each fleeting opportunity.

That's all for now. Sorry for not developing this further, but it shall come soon once school finishes out.